On Catholic Priests

“It’s because they don’t let Catholic priests marry that they turn (waves hands) ‘Aces Deuces.’ ”

On Sign Up Sheets

NICK: Joe died. “Giuseppi,” as we called him. They had a sign-in sheet at the desk for the bus to his funeral. ME: Did you go? NICK: No. No one signed up. ME: That’s sad. NICK: But 7 people signed up to go to the casino. ME: LOL. At least they have their priorities. Poor…

On World Affairs

While discussing world affairs this morning with my dad – in particular, the situation in Syria – my dad says: “…And here we are now between a s*** and a sweat!” That sums it up, I guess.

On Royalty

Conversation with my dad regarding the newly crowned independent living facility King & Queen: ME: So you didn’t get voted king this year? How is that possible? NICK: Nope. John and Grace won. And John doesn’t even know as many people as I do – he’s got dementia! Guess you gotta have dementia to win around…