NICK: That card you sent me is a big hit here today!
ME: Oh good!
(THE CARD HAD A WORKING FAN INSIDE TO BLOW AWAY FARTS – YOU KNOW – AS WE SEND IN THE GOICH FAMILY)
NICK: Lisa who works here asked what it meant. I said, well, it’s funny because I used to pass gas.
ME: Used to?
NICK: Well I can’t do it anymore. Now I’m afraid if I do, I’ll shit my pants.