ME: Did you watch the Oscars last night? NICK: I turned it on and heard a little of Kid Rock’s speech then fell asleep.

My dad’s take on the possibility of Donald Trump becoming president: NICK: Well that Melania will certainly be the most SEXUAL first lady we’ve ever had. Oh boy! ME: What about Martha Washington? NICK: I’m sure some found her attractive.

Today my dad informed me that his not-girlfriend, Elvira (the 95 year old), is on a diet. She doesn’t want to be fat like Mary and Edna so she only eats salads at lunch. This was disheartening for me to know that, even at 95, I’ll feel like I need to diet. As opposed to…

ME: So what’s been happening over at your place the past couple of days? NICK: Ah, we lost another one. Jim Gallagher. He was only here two months and then he hit the silk. ME: (OMG, ‘Hit the silk…’) That’s sad. NICK: I tell ya what’s sad – the hot roast beef sandwiches they serve…

Today my dad told the story about arguing with two people with Alzheimer’s in his current affairs discussion group. You can’t make this stuff up.

I wish I could have transcribed my dad’s entire ‪#‎SuperBowl‬ review here from this morning’s conversation, but I was driving and couldn’t write it down. I know I’m missing some nuggets, but here are some highlights: NICK: Beyonce was very good, she’s got some gams on her. Lady Gaga, all together different but equally as…