NICK: So Elvira invited me up to her apartment. ME: She did?!? Well…! NICK: Yeah, she said her TV wasn’t working. ME: Likely story. NICK: So the first thing I try is the batteries on the remote. Sure enough, that was the problem! I went down to my room, got two AAs and – there…

ME: What did you do for St. Patrick’s Day?  NICK: This guy comes here and sings for us. ME: Oh that’s fun! NICK: Yeah, this is what he knows…”When Irish eyes are smiling…la la la la la la…” He’s got no repertoire! ME: What do you mean “no repertoire?” NICK: He doesn’t know the words!…