NICK: I asked my residents at the “Table of Knowledge” (that’s what they call the breakfast table at my dad’s independent living facility), “What the hell’s a Wikileak?” All I’m hearing on Fox News is Wikileak this and Wikileak that.

ME: I can’t even explain to you how to use your email, I don’t know how to explain a Wikileak. And (SIGH) why are you watching Fox News?

NICK: My girls. You know I like to watch my girls at noon. Is it a leak? Like “I gotta take a leak?”

ME: (LAUGHING) No, it’s a website where this bad guy Julian Assange posts leaked information, confidential stuff and things Russians dig for and post. He’s a troublemaker.

NICK: So these goddamned emails – and I mean, who cares about Hillary’s emails? I got about 2,000 emails in my email box and they’re all from the MGM Casino! These emails were on Wikileaks?

ME: Yes. All sorts of stuff from the Clintons and the campaign have been leaked there.

NICK: Who the hell cares? I can’t even get into my Gmail! I think I was hacked. That’s what someone from the “Table of Knowledge” said. I was hacked. Are my emails on Wikileaks?

ME: I highly doubt it.

NICK: I know one thing. I gotta go take a Nicky Leak.

ME: You go do that. Look out for Julian Assange in the next stall.