MY DAD COMPLAINING ABOUT HIS BUM KNEE THIS MORNING ME: Nothing else is working, why don’t you try acupuncture? NICK: I need acupuncture like I need a hole in the head. ‪#‎doesntevenknowhemadeajoke‬

I realized this morning that my dad’s “I’ll just make a long story short” stories are as not-short as my “I’ll just make a long story short” stories.

MY DAD TONIGHT ON PEOPLE SUGGESTING HIS HEARING ISN’T QUITE WHAT IT USED TO BE – NICK: My television goes up to 60. I put it at 25. Is that hard of hearing? You and your brother put your TVs down so low (mine, right now is at 28, for the record) I can’t g******…

A LESSON IN NATURE VS. NURTURE: This morning I’m talking to my (almost) 93-year-old dad. He is explaining the Hillary Clinton phone story to me. I’m noticing that the story is sounding kind of slanted. So I say to my die-hard Democrat, blue-collar dad… ME: You seem to be leaning a little ‘right’ there there,…